Following Scotland’s bid to split from the United Kingdom, the Moon has decided to follow in their footsteps and seek independence from the Earth after 4.5 billion years.
Speaking via Skype, the Man on the Moon (otherwise known as the First Minister) commented:
"Honestly, what do you expect? You Earth people haven't visited us for over 40 years - you haven't so much as sent flowers or Christmas gifts. Even an Amazon gift card would have meant something..."
"The last time you came over, in your weird-looking suits, you barely said a word to us and just strolled around taking photographs, eating our cheese and planting down flags as if you owned the place. Well, enough! We've decided to move to Mars, where we feel we will be better appreciated. And you can manage your ocean tides yourselves, you bastards!"
Support is said to be high for the move, with 100% of the population of the Moon in favour when a recent straw poll was conducted. Notably, tennis player Andy Murray has come out in support of the move, although suggestions that he might go and live there have been quickly rebuffed…