Diary of a Very Normal Week
The highlights of the last seven days
A small number of people (<1) recently wrote to me, asking what it’s like to spend a week in the mind of a Noodle Chaser and how I come up with my brilliant ideas and inventions. “Alastair,” they said, “your brilliance always ceases to amaze.”
Last weekend, I spent roughly 3.27 seconds mulling this over before deciding to diarise my daily highlights. And so, in the spirit of oversharing, here they are...
Monday
Brainstormed the idea of creating a footwear brand for obnoxious people with ill-fitting shoes: Insoles for Arseholes. Started a list of potential customers.
On the way home, glanced at Google Maps on the car display and saw a label for 'Hitler’s Rest.' Questioned my entire education. Considered the impact on house prices. Turns out it was Hiker’s Rest. Crisis averted.
Tuesday
Watched an hour-long programme about how to win at board games. Now armed with strategies to wipe the floor with my opponents at Monopoly. Haven’t played Monopoly since before social media, when people had common sense and my best friend was a Furby (he was a great listener). But hey — knowledge is power! 💪
Wednesday
Started writing a story about a female clairvoyant detective. Couldn’t decide whether to make her serious or jovial. Went for the happy medium.
Later, read a book with my young daughter about how to draw a cat. Had a go myself…
He looks like he’s been run over (although, he seems quite happy about it).
Thursday
Tried a guided meditation podcast in the morning. Felt really relaxed. Decided to see if I could spread the relaxation throughout the day by talking to my co-workers reeeaally slooowly. Got a few strange looks. One person asked if I was having a stroke.
Later, had a brilliant idea but no time to flesh it out. So, I just scribbled something down on the back of an envelope.
Friday
Thought about adding 'fully compostable' to my social media profile (I like to be up with trends). Wondered if it's too soon to let the world know I’m biodegradable, or whether to hold off until I’m certified organic.
Later, sent a friendly end-of-week WhatsApp message to my workplace colleagues. 👇
Saturday
Considered the idea of writing a puff piece for my blog. Then realised I don’t know what a puff piece is. Figured it had something to do with asthma.
Sunday
Felt inspired by my artistic brilliance from earlier in the week. Began work on a groundbreaking new invention. 👇
(drawing this made me hungry)
And that’s my week wrapped up — a surprisingly productive one, by all accounts. And, I think I’ve made some new work friends. 👍
Alastair
If you enjoyed this article (or feel an overwhelming sense of pity), I would feel smugly validated if you would consider giving it a like and sharing it with a colleague, friend, or sworn adversary.
Not yet subscribed to Chasing a Noodle? Don't worry, this can be remedied below (it’s completely free!).